We fear rejection like we fear death. It’s the fear of being abandoned by the tribe, left to survive on our own

Benjamin P. Taylor
3 min readNov 14, 2023

Join the discussion on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/antlerboy_rejection-therapy-learn-how-to-hear-no-activity-7130089825835114496-DVD- What could you do if you didn’t fear rejection? What experiences have helped you get over yourself?

We fear rejection like we fear death. It’s the fear of being abandoned by the tribe, left to survive on our own.

But in our modern world, the fear of rejection is more likely to hurt us than rejection itself.

It can stop you asking for things, starting things, getting what you want.

It’s invaluable for #PersonalDevelopment and #Resilience.

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I’ve valued Rejection Therapy since it first came out. It’s a great way to put yourself out there, retrain yourself, and lose your sense of self-importance.

I realised that I had enjoyed some natural ‘rejection therapy’ myself, which had helped me greatly

- Being on a stage, at school, speaking.

- Canvassing for a political party on a council estate.

- Standing in Hammersmith Mall with a clipboard, asking people their opinions about the council.

- Five Rhythms and Shamanic Trance Dance

Only one of these are ‘out there’ — but all make you vulnerable, all are hard to do if you think you’re soooo special. I did, it was hard, but I learned that

1) nobody really cares that much — it’s not so weird to put yourself out there #PersonalBranding

2) it changes you — it makes you bolder, freer, happier #Innovation

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What is Rejection Therapy? It’s not actually therapy, that’s for sure. It’s #SelfImprovement.

It’s a light-hearted way to get used to rejection. To learn how much fear of exposure, fear of ‘no’ is holding us back in life, and to learn that to be rejected isn’t the end, it’s just a normal part of trying to achieve things.

There’s only one real rule — you have to get rejected by someone at least once a day, every day.

You do that by making a request — for something you want, but probably won’t get. Something that isn’t that big of a deal, in a situation where you’re vulnerable and you’re considerate of the person you’re asking: they’re in a position of power and won’t feel back about the exchange.

(This sensitivity is important, as is treating it lightly — based on our intersectional privilege in society, our current status and psychology, and so on, Rejection Therapy hits different for different people at different times — it’s important to get the balance right for you and the person you’re asking).

- Ask for a behind-the-scenes tour of your favourite restaurant.

- Try to negotiate a discount at the supermarket checkout.

- Ask strangers to critique your clothing.

- See if you can get backstage to meet your favourite band.

The typical attempt is 30 days without a break (I’ve done that) — some do a hundred!

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What could you do if you didn’t fear rejection?

What experiences have helped you get over yourself?

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