We only deal with dead foxes
‘We only deal with dead foxes’. Join the conversation on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/antlerboy_ux-serviceimprovement-digitalexperience-activity-7321081884778680320-RTyV?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAAACuq-oBecVFDW6PCf3lkoG-peMeuLBeoho
Rob is 100% right here, of course, but I think ‘modern’ is a distraction here. Yesterday, out with my dog about 4pm (full daylight), I spotted a mangy, limping, injured fox. I’m pretty sure it could be a danger to pets or humans, and it was certainly in pain. So I thought ‘who can I speak to to see who can help?’ and tried the council.
I got a number off the website (which already looked discouraging), and called Wandsworth council.
I got shared services (I had a part in setting that up!), a *long* disclaimer and explanation message, then an IVR. I made a selection and got another *long* explanation and ‘web diversion’ message, this time explaining the shared service more and that though this was Wandsworth’s service, everything would be badged Merton.
Another selection — *another* long intro and push to web. Then I got choices which made no sense to me, and through to some dead end. Tried again, twice, lots of messages, dead ends.
So, well-versed in IVR, I tried ‘pushing all the buttons’. Cut off.
Tried again, pressing #, cut off. Pressing *, cut off.
Tried mimicking a person unable to push buttons or not understanding — I pushed nothing. I was cut off.
Tried again, determined to speak to a person this time (I’m up to maybe 13 IVR menus by now?) — I chose emergency services as I knew it would be staffed. I declined the selection for emergency social worker — I knew they’d be there, but they have other priorities.
Eventually — after more shared service announcements — there was something like ‘current noise nuisance on a housing estate’ which got me through to a real person.
I explained the situation — short pause — ‘so it’s a live fox?’
‘Yes, it’s a live fox, but in some distress’
‘We can only deal with dead foxes I’m afraid’
[Why do these conversations always remind me of Chris Morris radio comedy?]
By this time I was home with the dog (who was slightly resentful I had been playing with my phone all walk), and gesturing at my wife to explain I was on the phone.
They referred me to the RSPCA — probably who I should have contacted all along. The phone line went dead at first, then was pretty clear that neglect and abuse was their focus.
Later, while on the common with the dog again, I remembered to try the RSPCA again, and was referred by automated message to the website. A chatbot… which didn’t respond to swearing.
I was cut off when I admitted I wasn’t able to observe and approach the fox, so tried again, lying.
It was when the chatbot asked me — quite a well-planned process — to ‘try the broom test’ — approach the fox and mimic poking a broom or something at it, to see if an officer could capture it without it running away (or attacking?) that I gave up.
Maybe this is just my pig-headedness, maybe I should have got the message earlier that nobody was available to help this poor fox and perhaps reduce any risk to animals or people.
But all the ‘good practice’ I experienced… wasn’t good.
