What haunts your fever dreams?
People often say I should do some personal LinkedIn posts — ‘let them see the real you’.
Well, this might go beyond that — I’m asking what weirdness comes out of you when you’re a little bit out of your mind?
The first time I nearly died from a stomach bug, I was staying in the home of one of the richest men of one of the richest families in Bangladesh. Heavy, soft, beautiful brushed Egyptian cotton sheets, a vase in the corner of my guest room that wasn’t — surely — Ming?
Well, perfect expensive cotton sheets are not what you want when your stomach and entire nervous system are actively trying to kill you, but I spent a night like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now, sweating profusely and staring at the exquisitely-crafted ceiling fan.
I had a series of dreams about how I’d used a relational database to connect all the world’s information. I was trying to avoid hubris but, frankly, I’d achieved something miraculous. I also had to fight off the Forces of Evil who — obviously — didn’t want the secret to come out.
The second time was, I’m afraid, Bangladesh-connected too. It’s a wonderful country, and I mean no offense to my Indian subcontinent readers, but I had an ill-advised curry one evening before an early flight. In the 4am taxi, with (of course) a Bangladeshi driver, I was waxing reminiscent about my wonderful earlier trip to his country. Perhaps that triggered something?
I spent 48 feverish hours deeply sick. My main job in my dreams was two consultancy projects we had on that were proving really tricksy and difficult. I never got to the bottom of the trouble — which is doubly frustrating now I am (I believe) back to consciousness and realise these projects ‘don’t exist’ — but the key moment was being indignant at the realisation that all the client REALLY wanted us to do was categorise their information. ‘Is that it?! Category Theory?!’
I like to think it’s a sign of intellectual maturity that I’ve gone from ‘connecting all the world’s information’ to ‘putting things into boxes’ (same thing, of course) — but my latest dream was walking Doggle and his ball fell into a hole in the roots of the world tree, and I had to get it out again and battle snakes while keeping him from diving into the subterranean depths.
So let’s see if it’s true that another person’s dreams are the most boring thing possible.
What weird dreams have you had?